A note to self

Death had always served as a reminder that life can be so damn unpredictable. So do what you gotta do now and don't look back. It will take a lot of courage and patience but it will be worth it.

Nods in agreement

Blog everyday in August? It's already September! HAHAHAHAHA

I guess I should stick to blogging out of the blue.

Tomorrow is another brand new week and I am not happy about it.

What would you do if you feel you have an incompetent person that serves as your leader?

A. follow blindly

B. highlight it to a higher authority

C. bear for at least until experience is earned

D. run for the door!

Decisions. Questions. Possibilities. Regrets. Hmm maybe it's not right for me to call it regrets but this job had made me choose to let go of things that at that point, those decisions seems right and sensible. Oh well, I am vying for a opportunity now. I don't know if things will work out or not since I am still very unsure of what I want *chuckles* When am I ever sure of the things that I want? *chuckles*

Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just give me myself back and don't stay.

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well

Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself

Sometimes in disbelief I didn't know

Somehow I need to be alone

I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored

I don't need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

DANGEROUS GOODS CARGO YOU ARE GOING DOWN BECAUSE YOURS TRULY HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Baby steps

The moment I saw your name popped up on my screen.

My mind went blank and blood rushed through my head and neck.

Scared yet excited.

Helpless yet glad.

I was glad that at least you thought of me, even though it's only because you needed my help.

And help I will so that I can move on.

Baby steps.

No replacement or a rebound but purely my own effort to put this behind.

Because I'm not selfish and cold-blooded.

Because I'm more than that.

Because I still care.

Nyahhh don't know what I'm blabbering about.

Must be PMS.

Pre-Monday depression .___________.

Rockabybaby

Day 13 - Favourite Part of the Day

I'd say when I am on my bed with the air-conditioner on full blast and my comfy blanket wrapped around me. Sleeping has got to be my favourite pastime because it's when I am detached from reality. It's a form of escape because everything is possible while I am asleep. No barriers. No boundaries. Except when I dreamt about work and whatnot lahhh *shudders* which I am getting a lot of recently.

THAT is nightmare :/

Depressed

Day 12 - Nature

When was the last time I was close to nature? I cannot remember.
It's probably Broga Hill which is last year?!
Holy moly.
This is just sad TT_____TT
Why is this challenge making me feel sad and depress?

Kerou

Day 11 - Something beautiful

My baby niece. She is the sunshine of our family. Maybe because she is the first baby girl after two boys. Lol. But no doubt something beautiful in my life and hopefully she shall remain so as long as it's possible. Innocent and unharmed.

I am okay.

Okay so I'm still wide awake at this hour even though tomorrow is Monday and I AM WORKING. Gah! I slept too much while on my way back from the little raya getaway.

Am taking up the Yummy Mummy in Training's challenge to blog every day in August. I know. It's August 12 now. I am 12 days late. But I'll start from Day 10 onwards. Hope to keep this going. So here goes nothing.

Day 10 - How are you?

I remember two weeks ago I broke down when I was asked this simple question. Three words that you hear almost everyday. I could have brushed it aside and pretended to be okay. But I could not find any strength to do it any more. Maybe it's because of the question. Maybe it's because he initiated that question. Maybe it's the combination of both. I have no idea.

After two weeks, how am I now?

I had better days but I had far worst days as well *chuckles* Fickle, fickle me. 

I am okay. Vulnerable but okay.

Just because

I met him today.
I saw his face.
I heard his voice.
We smiled.
We talked.
We laughed.
But I recalled.
We cannot happen.
Because I am Chinese.
Because he is a Malay.
Because we are in Malaysia.
Because he met someone else first.
Because this is fate.
Because we are never meant to be.

I still can't figure out this title thingy after more than 6 years of blogging.

Last Published: 5th October 2012.

Current date: 28th July 2013.

It's been more than half a year since I last updated! And that with me owning a smartphone already. Gah.

Okay, first I need to apologize to my blog, berubinlah. Sorry for abandoning you for so long. I am back now (I hope). Reading back the posts that I had published last year, I could still feel the heartache. Although not as painful as back then, but it still sting a little. But I'm glad I wrote what I felt back then, some is still in the draft box. Too much to be posted. I still want to keep things private. You never know who will come across your blog and who is actually reading it. Hah! Anyhows, I'll try to update every now and then. It's time for me to gain back the control of my life, my time and my destiny. Fuhhh suddenly so philosophical.

So hello, blogsphere. Lim Rubin is back and she will be rambling more than ever.

Love.