Disappointed

Well, I woke up today totally not expecting anything else but to try my best to complete my tasks on hand. Little did I expect that I would be ran over twice with the Porsche Cayanne (le boss drives one). Okay, I'm being dramatic here. Above statement is not to be taken literally. But please let me whine a bit here cause that was what I felt like all evening.

Incident I
"I am disappointed with both of you."

Reason: because ze superior and I failed to monitor our inventory
the real reason: because we failed to monitor our MAILS where at 7.23pm we are suppose to be clutching our smartphones, checking for incoming mails since we're not in front of our laptops. Conclusion: Ze boss got to the mail first before the both of us could attend to it.

I didn't know that it's stipulated in the contract that I've signed over my time and life to the company.

Incident II
"It's important to learn about Incoterms. Go attend the course."

Reason: n/a
the real reason: n/a
conclusion: three freshies were already registered for the course. and as we were granted three spots only, I didn't get to attend. Eventhough le boss was given the choice to choose who to go.

Well, my dear boss, the feeling is mutual now.

Hell yes I am furious. Then it slowly turned into that hollow, gray and wet feeling of disappointment.
I guess it's my turn now. But I'll save ze boss the trouble and in turn excuse myself to the "cold palace".

PMS

Sometimes I wonder if it's the person or the feeling of being in love that I miss. Some would say you miss what he's able to "offer" emotionally, so in turn your brain thinks that you miss that person.
On the other hand, some would argue that at the end, that "feeling" that you miss is caused by that person. So ultimately you do miss him. I mean how many person out there is able to make you feel the way you had for him?

Understand? *chuckles*

The first cut is indeed the deepest. This I do strongly agree with. No matter how much you have moved on/recovered, you can never completely forget how he made your heart fluttered then.

Honestly

Just got back from a drinking session and I'm half drunk, thought about my long-abandoned blog out of the blue. My right ear is stuck right now while sitting in this dark room with only my long-abandoned laptop's light illuminating the room. Random much? Yes, it'll probably wouldn't make much sense when I read this tomorrow. As much as I do not want to admit to this in person due to my self-conscience-ness or however you spell that, but I'd still like to believe in love. Believe that someone is out there for me. For you. For everyone.

p/s I long for a karaoke session too.

A note to self

Death had always served as a reminder that life can be so damn unpredictable. So do what you gotta do now and don't look back. It will take a lot of courage and patience but it will be worth it.

Nods in agreement

Blog everyday in August? It's already September! HAHAHAHAHA

I guess I should stick to blogging out of the blue.

Tomorrow is another brand new week and I am not happy about it.

What would you do if you feel you have an incompetent person that serves as your leader?

A. follow blindly

B. highlight it to a higher authority

C. bear for at least until experience is earned

D. run for the door!

Decisions. Questions. Possibilities. Regrets. Hmm maybe it's not right for me to call it regrets but this job had made me choose to let go of things that at that point, those decisions seems right and sensible. Oh well, I am vying for a opportunity now. I don't know if things will work out or not since I am still very unsure of what I want *chuckles* When am I ever sure of the things that I want? *chuckles*

Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just give me myself back and don't stay.

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well

Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself

Sometimes in disbelief I didn't know

Somehow I need to be alone

I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored

I don't need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

DANGEROUS GOODS CARGO YOU ARE GOING DOWN BECAUSE YOURS TRULY HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Baby steps

The moment I saw your name popped up on my screen.

My mind went blank and blood rushed through my head and neck.

Scared yet excited.

Helpless yet glad.

I was glad that at least you thought of me, even though it's only because you needed my help.

And help I will so that I can move on.

Baby steps.

No replacement or a rebound but purely my own effort to put this behind.

Because I'm not selfish and cold-blooded.

Because I'm more than that.

Because I still care.

Nyahhh don't know what I'm blabbering about.

Must be PMS.

Pre-Monday depression .___________.

Rockabybaby

Day 13 - Favourite Part of the Day

I'd say when I am on my bed with the air-conditioner on full blast and my comfy blanket wrapped around me. Sleeping has got to be my favourite pastime because it's when I am detached from reality. It's a form of escape because everything is possible while I am asleep. No barriers. No boundaries. Except when I dreamt about work and whatnot lahhh *shudders* which I am getting a lot of recently.

THAT is nightmare :/

Depressed

Day 12 - Nature

When was the last time I was close to nature? I cannot remember.
It's probably Broga Hill which is last year?!
Holy moly.
This is just sad TT_____TT
Why is this challenge making me feel sad and depress?

Kerou

Day 11 - Something beautiful

My baby niece. She is the sunshine of our family. Maybe because she is the first baby girl after two boys. Lol. But no doubt something beautiful in my life and hopefully she shall remain so as long as it's possible. Innocent and unharmed.